Can I be honest with you?
It has been a really heinous week.
My planner was covered with countless “To-Do” items and laced with various appointments, interviews, workouts, and scheduled quality time with friends.
It was a beautiful, hectic mess leaving me exhausted and emptied at the end of every day.
I quickly became reliant on the affirmation and approval of those around me to continue on with my task list.
I placed a reason for approval behind everything that I did, whether that was myself, a person, or a goal that I established for the present or the future.
My room became a sure testament of my fight for outward approval as my closet, makeup, and various hair products were scattered all across my desk and floor. My school readings were in a messy pile next to my laptop, binders, notebooks, and countless syllabi full of expectations. My blankets and pillows were tossed “neatly” into a mound on my bed as I promised to return to them at some point or another at the end of the day. And last but not least, my kitchen was scattered with leftover cereal bowls, granola bar wrappers, and cookie trays from late-night movie parties (a scene my trainer and my mother would not be happy about).
But even still, it was just as much a beautiful, hectic mess.
I recapped the day’s activities each night before going to bed, as most of us do, and questioned what could have gone better and smiled about the things that simply couldn’t have. Last night as I was sitting down to think over the total sum of recapped days, I laughed heartily at my apartment and the person I had let myself become.
On the outside, I was dying for approval. I sought to look a certain way, say all the right things, and fly through my schedule of daily “to-do’s” with a satisfied “done-did” attitude.
But when it came down to it, my inner self was exhausted and an utter mess.
I can’t possibly be the only one walking in these shoes.
We all search way too hard, way too long, and way too often for something that we won’t allow ourselves to ever attain.
There will always be a level of approval yet to be met or a person that we just can’t sway.
And sometimes, our greatest battle for approval is the one against ourselves.
Remember where your true approval comes from and know that His love and His acceptance is unconditional.
Remind yourself that the things in this life are fleeting and will be gone just as soon as you are.
Take time this week to take a step back from wordly desires and man-made expectations.
And above all else, smile knowing that you are more than enough just as you are.
“You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”
Special thanks to the ladies at Staxx and Miss Corinne Day for making this post possible.
Sweater: Wildfox Couture